When 32-year-old Russian comic Yakov Smirnoff (green card A21702322) arrived in the U.S. six years ago, he knew no English. He has since learned enough to make audiences see humor in life in the U.S.S.R. When Contributing Editor David Rensin saw Smirnoff's act in Los Angeles, he brought him to our attention. Rensin's report: "Smirnoff lives in the Hollywood Hills. He drives a Mercedes 450SL that he recently bought in Germany. His bedroom is equipped with a stereo and video system. I think he likes it here."

Q 1

PLAYBOY: How did you get into comedy in Russia?

Yakov Smirnoff: Just by being funny between friends. Same thing as here. I started in small clubs and then realized maybe I can make money at it. I used to work Russian cruise ships on the Black Sea. I did shows in Russian. We had tourists from eight countries, and they would be laughing, though I didn't know how they could understand me. This was my first clue that I possibly will be able to be a comedian.

Q 2

PLAYBOY: Is there a Russian Tonight Show?

Yakov Smirnoff: No. There are big comedians, like Bob Hope, who have been around a long time, but television is not big on comedy. They like people who don't talk. Here there are talk shows. There, they have don't talk shows, like Shut Up Your Face. Well, there was the Brezhnev talk show. He talked, you listened.

Q 3

PLAYBOY: Did you have trouble getting out of Russian?

Yakov Smirnoff: Yes. It's a very tough process. There are two years of preparing to apply, getting all the papers together. Then two years waiting for the visa--and then they give me a MasterCard. And they make it miserable after you apply, because they make sure everyone knows you're a traitor and you're treated like you're running away from the motherland that gave you food and education. I was fired from being a comedian, from the government agency that employed me, and the only way I survived was to work unofficially and get paid under the table. The club managers knew me and knew I wouldn't say anything in my act that would put them in danger, so I worked. Ship captains liked me, so I got hired on as dishwasher.

I don't know why they let me go, and I didn't ask. Things are processed and, suddenly, you have a week to get out. And if you don't, they keep you. My parents and I were booked on the last train we could legally take. And they wait until the train is almost ready to leave to start searching your luggage. They throw it all into a pile, and--just like in the movies--you have to throw it all back into the suitcase and run to the train. I jumped on the moving train and pulled my mother and father on after me. If we had missed it, they would have said, "Sorry, you had your chance."

Q 4

PLAYBOY: Did you come to the U.S. with the idea of being a comedian?

Yakov Smirnoff: No. I just wanted to get that feeling of freedom, something I couldn't get there. When I worked on cruise ships, I talked to people and found out our living conditions were horrible compared with other countries'. I never had a car in Russia. We didn't have a shower in our apartment. We have five families in one apartment with one kitchen and a communal shower ten blocks away. You had to pay money to go there and shower with 200 guys watching.

Q 5

PLAYBOY: Has the U.S. taken some getting used to?

Yakov Smirnoff: I'm like a five-year-old. A while ago, I was standing in front of The Comedy Store and this guy comes over and puts his arm around me and touches me and says he saw me on the Today show and tells me, "You were great!" He was tall, nice-looking. I've been living in Hollywood for a while and I thought he was trying to pick me up. Thank God the doorman from The Comedy Store asked him for an autograph--I realized, knowing that doorman, he wouldn't ask a gay guy for an autograph. And it was Monty Hall. Later, my former manager said, "This is a man who made millions talking to people dressed as tomatoes and potatoes." Now I know to take door number three. Do you want this picture of Brezhnev or what's behind the iron curtain? When I got to America, my first girlfriend said that if I was a comedian and I was good, I'd eventually get on the Johnny Carson show. To me, "Johnny Carson" and "Jimmy Carter" sounded exactly the same. So I went home to my mother and said, "Here the President has his own television show."