by Pat Sisson

Rob Huebel and Paul Scheer are used to playing odd situations for a laugh. Along with Aziz Ansari, the two are part of Human Giant, the buzzed-about new MTV comedy series. The comics are hilarious playing overzealous magicians (Illusionators) or slick kiddie talent agents (Shutterbugs). How would they handle doing the Dirty Dozen interview at the same time?

"It's kind of like two guys having sex with the same girl," said Huebel, "and they've never done it before, and they're like, oh, this is great, right? I don't know, are we gay, are my balls touching your balls?"

We couldn't comment on ball-touching, since we spoke over the phone. But Huebel and Scheer did get into the ethics of scoring a hat trick, how to react when you get R. Kelly-ed and the kind of sex that requires a trip to Home Depot.

1. What's the best time of day or night to have sex?

Rob Huebel: I think lunchtime sex is good. In the morning, you're groggy or you have bad breath and you're all disgusting. Late at night, you're tired or super drunk. Lunchtime sex feels forbidden. You're leaving work to go home and fuck someone. I should be eating a sandwich right now, and instead I'm eating something else.

2. Have you ever had sex in a public place?

Rob Huebel: I had sex in the changing room at a Banana Republic while trying on clothes with a girlfriend. It was the old, "How are those fitting? I don't know, you should come in and check this out" trick. I didn't buy the pants and we put them back, so someone bought them and they are obviously used. Plus, the dressing room has this crazy translucent door and you can clearly see the silhouette of what people are doing inside. I had no idea we were backlit. When we came out of the changing room, the sales girl was not at all amused.

3. 3. Are you a member of the mile high club?

Rob Huebel: No. I've certainly had access, since my dad used to work for an airline and I could get free trips. Ever since 9/11, it's really hard. If there's one thing 9/11 changed....

Paul Scheer: Everyone is staring at that bathroom and I don't have the balls to do it. The exit strategy would be impossible. I also saw Snakes on a Plane, and you pretty much get killed when you have sex on a plane.

4. Have you ever videotaped yourself having sex?

Paul Scheer: You're one bad breakup and a YouTube connection away from everyone in the world seeing you get it on. One of the girls I used to date told me that her ex-boyfriend had a tape of them having sex. She said he wouldn't give it back because he would still watch it to jerk off to. That's terrible. You don't want someone jerking off to you retroactively.

5. Do either of you guys like to talk dirty while making love?

Rob Huebel: I had a girlfriend who wanted me to talk dirty, so there was always this pressure for me to sort of script things. But I don't instinctively do that, so when I did talk dirty, I came off like some guy with Tourette's. I don't think that's what she wanted.

Paul Scheer: When you watch porn there's this incredible pressure to develop some good lines, but when you try and put that into real life situations, it's awkward. It's not like you can press stop when you say something weird. So, yeah, I told you to milk my dick like a cow. Alright....

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