The Missionary Revival

There are benefits to being a man on a mission

By Kelly Jones

According to Wikipedia, the term "missionary position" didn't originate from Christian missionaries preaching that this sexual position was the only proper way to boink, as is commonly believed. Rather, the expression likely comes to us from the Polynesians, whose sexual experimentations (with both partners and techniques) far exceeded the straightforward hanky-panky routines of the married Protestant missionaries in their midst.

In 1953, in his Sexual Behavior in the Human Female report conducted in the U.S., Alfred Kinsey concluded that 91 per cent of women engaged in the missionary position most of the time. According to Kinsey, the remaining 9 per cent used this position exclusively. While sexual practices may have blossomed somewhat since then, it's fair to say (and an informal study of my own posse confirms it) that missionary continues to stand as the most commonly practiced way we do the bed boogie.

So why is missionary often considered the vanilla ice cream of sexual positions? For some reason, missionary has a reputation as lacking creativity and imagination -- perhaps because it is the easiest of the positions to perform and reach climax with and therefore "easy" is somehow seen as "less sexy." Perhaps it's because some female sex partners have given it a bad reputation because they just lie there without contributing anything. Insecure women might shy away from this position because they find it too dominating and smothering.

But there are more benefits to indulging in missionary than most other positions. It's not just because to many (including myself) it just feels damn good physically. Think about it. What other position gives you more skin-on-skin contact? More shared control of penetration depth and rhythm? More eye-to-eye intimacy? More free use of the hands to stimulate and caress other body parts in the mix?

There are many ways to mix it up in the missionary position. Pillows are good for more than hiding porn magazines and fighting at sleepovers. Position one under the woman's hips for increased pressure on the clitoris and deeper penetration. Or lean a mirror against the wall and watch yourselves as you pump and grind each other into missionary oblivion. Sex shops sell a myriad of toys and props to incorporate into your missionary play: vibrators, dildos, blindfolds, bondage supplies, massage oils.

Anne Hooper, in her book XXX Sex Tonight, suggests a few missionary variations worth trying. In the Scissors position, the man lies on top of the woman with one leg between her legs and the other outside. Good for grinding her clitoris: "Your two pelvises act like a kind of fulcrum, rocking backward and forward on each other as he thrusts."

Another variation, recommended for men who take a longer time to climax, is called the Grip. The man puts his legs outside of the woman's so that both her vagina and legs cause friction against his penis as he thrusts in and out. Stimulate the G-spot and increase depth of penetration with the Legs Up variation, where he kneels between her legs (instead of lying, as in the traditional missionary) and she puts her feet on his chest or shoulders.

Next time you find yourself in missionary position, don't be so quick to switch position to something that requires an Olympic gymnast's flexibility. Make it your mission to spice it up -- you're only as limited as your imagination.