Think you know pressure? Fuggedaboutit. Recently retired FBI agent Joe Pistone knows pressure. Adopting the wise guy identity of jewel thief and bookie Donnie Brasco, Pistone spent six years undercover in New York's Bonanno mob family. And if there's one thing undercover FBI agents and wise guys have in common, it's that a sudden, unnatural death can occur at any moment. Cover blown? An agent dies. Cross the wrong mobster? A wise guy dies. Pistone could have met his maker either way -- and nearly did. Instead, he survived to tell the tale immortalized by Johnny Depp on film.

When Pistone's undercover stint ended, he testified against the mob, which reportedly put a $500,000 bull's-eye on the back of his head. Yet Pistone never went into Witness Protection. In fact, he even did a tour for his recently released book, The Way of the Wiseguy.

Clearly, no one outside the mob knows better how to become a wise guy than Pistone. "You don't just come from Nowhere, Idaho and drop yourself into New York or Chicago and say, 'I want to hook up with the mob,'" he says. With that in mind, we asked Pistone to school us on what every wannabe wise guy needs to know.

"You see guys with 15 or 20 hits under their belt, but if their captain tells them to sit in one spot for two days, they sit there for two days," Pistone explains. Wise guys know how to respect their bosses -- and their fellow wise guys. Never talk back to or get into an argument with your captain. Open the car door for your captain and never lay hands on another wise guy. "You might get into a verbal confrontation with another wise guy, but you never get physical," Pistone counsels.

In the mob, it's all about the Benjamins. Hijacking. Extortion. Stock scams. Bookmaking. Whatever illegal activities you can devise to make money. "My legend was that I was a jewel thief and a burglar," says Pistone. "Every so often, I would bring around a cache of diamonds or precious gems and tell them I had gotten them in a score from a high-rise or the airport or whatever. Of course, all the stuff was provided by the government. When I did get involved with these guys in illegal activities, we were involved a little in the drug trade and stolen goods." Pistone also worked as a bookie: "Bookmaking is a 365-day-a-year activity. And over the long run, the bookie is always gonna win. Just like at the casinos."

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